This is a random post. I am procrastinating on the posts I should be sharing. I promise the next one will be more exciting or it might make you cry.

I attended my 15 year college reunion last week.  I attended a christian college.  My family encouraged me to go to church growing up, if I chose to.  My parents did not attend church.  I tried out many different denominations.  I would go to church by myself or with a friend if invited. 

I have felt the presence of God as long as I can remember.  I know it sounds crazy or weird.  I can only describe it as feeling love inside my being.  Being hugged in love.  I did not have much love or affection growing up from my family, but I felt loved, always.

I decided the Nazarene doctrine most described my personal belief system.  I started attending the Nazarene church regularly.  Where I grew up, the Nazarene church had about 15 people and two were teenagers.  There was no youth group and I had to find one somewhere else.

I went to a non-denominational youth group.  It was at the house of a family, not in a church.  We would meet weekly and read scripture and discuss.  The message I always heard was hate.  So many times the message circled around a sinner, being condemned, and going to hell.  A list started and kept growing of things I couldn't do or I was going to go to hell.  We never discussed growth or love.  It was very difficult to follow all the rules. 

When I started looking at colleges to attend, my father stated NNC was a good college and I already had a friend at NNC.  I applied to many colleges and was accepted.  My father stated he would pay for college if I went to NNC.  So, I went to NNC.

NNC had a curfew for freshman.  I have never had a curfew in my life.  I have always done what I wanted and came and went when I wanted.  I would push curfew at college just because I was told I had to be home at a certain time.  I had to take religious classes.  Since I did not have the background as most of the other students, I had to learn everything, even basic Bible stories.  I would answer basic biblical questions with stupid answers.  Students would laugh at me in class and my first roommate would run around telling everyone my stupid answers.  It was so hard.  Feeling love wasn't going to get me through college.  BTW, manna was the food given to God's chosen people, not Esau.  

I changed my major from music, to English education, to social work.  My dad let me know that professions in social service, like social work, do not pay well.  But I wanted to change the world, I told him.  He was right, it doesn't pay well, but I believe I am making a difference in my little world.  

I became pregnant with The Daughter my senior year at NNC.  Some of my friends discontinued our friendship when this happened, but many continued to love me.  

I met some incredible people at NNC.  I did earn a degree in social work.  I feel more confident in my Bible knowledge.  I learned to allow people to be where they are in life and help them along if they ask.  I learned to love more.

Stuff I learned because of NNC:  Do not stay out until curfew, you will be so tired in class.  Always talk to your professors if you have any questions or concerns.  The professors are wanting you to do your best and will help you when you need it.  College chaplain are awesome.  Reach out and make friends with everyone, no matter their major, or if they play basketball.  Participate in as many activities on campus as possible.