Thought I would bring a little class to the post today. So, a little Shakespeare from Measure for Measure, Act 3, Scene 1 is the name of this post. Classiness!
So let's talk about death. Just in 2014, January, both our guinea pigs (6 years old) died of old age. April is when I lost my high school mentor. May, I lost my dad (diabetes complications), a high school friend and her daughter (car accident), and an acquaintance from high school (accident). June, a friend's older sister died who I adored (medical complications). September, my mom died (pneumonia). October, a cousin died from cancer. I am very familiar with death at this point.
Death is one of those topics that make people very uncomfortable. Let's get uncomfortable! Death is inevitable and it needs to be prepared for. I figured I would give a list of some of the items of what I have learned this year regarding life and death.
1. Pets, no matter how small, become family and it sucks when they die. I knew it was coming and held each guinea pig as they passed away. I tried to make them feel loved because it is what I want when my time comes.
2. Always try to be a friend to those around you. You never know what people are going through privately and your friendship could make or break them.
3. Listen to your doctor when he gives you medical advice. I know they can be wrong sometimes, but most of the time your physician wants you to live a rich and fulfilling life. Plus, you are paying them for their expertise, might as well use it.
4. Always wear your seat belt. Always. The worst that could happen is you die anyway. The best that can happen is you go home to your family. Your percentage of living through a car accident is much higher if you wear a seat belt.
5. Make good choices. I know this one seems to be a no-brainer, but it needs to be said often. When angry, a good choice may be what saves you.
6. Listen to your body. If something isn't right, take action.
7. If you are not prepared for emergencies and death, someone else will have to make the decisions for you. Think of your spouse and children. Those closest to you need to have the opportunity to grieve and just be, not make the toughest decisions of their life. (Choose the people who will follow through on your decisions.)
8. Negotiate the price with the funeral home director. If you need a lower price, just ask if they can meet you closer to what you can pay. Keep in mind, the funeral home needs to make money to continue their business, so don't be unreasonable. You will be back, eventually, so be a good client. See #7 on how to make this easier for your family.
9. Talk with your family about your plans and where you keep the documents. Talking about death and preparation does not cause death, that I have heard of. I have been talking about what I want when I die for 7 months. Still here.
10. Life insurance. Death is SO expensive for those left to pick up the pieces. Even a small policy will help.
11. When you give gifts to those grieving, bring items that do not require work. Money, finger foods, fresh fruit and veggies, gift cards for common restaurants, etc. I am so thankful for those who helped me by cleaning. It can be incredibly overwhelming when faced with the list of items that need to be completed. Someone stepping in and helping, or taking over, a cleaning project can be the biggest relief. Being able to run into my house and grabbing some carrots and an apple before I had to meet with the funeral director is exactly what I needed to make it a few more hours. I did not have time to sit down and eat. A gift card to Wendy's helped feed my family when we had to run around.
12. Try to be forgiving. I was unable to call people back or I would forget. If I had a moment to sit and not make any decisions, I just wanted to veg on the couch or take a bath. I gave up on thank you notes by the time my mom died. I hope I didn't upset anyone.
13. Let people help you! Do not be prideful during this time. No one cares if your house is a mess or you are wearing the same pair of pants all week, they are there to help and it just shows they love you.
14. If you tell me that it is okay because my loved one is in a better place, I may not be very thankful. Right now, the better place is still here with me, alive and well. A better thing to say, "I am so sorry you are going though this and I will be here for you until you tell me to go."
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