Mother of the addict or the worst Christmas ever, however you look at it.

Let's review events from December 2015. The Daughter (16) started acting like she had a demon inside. She was isolating herself, talking rude and sassy, and doing whatever she wanted without asking or informing. My social worker brain believed she was developmentally trying to find her boundaries and personal beliefs. I was being validated by others who had raised daughters stating the same type of issues at age 16. She was hanging out with a new group of friends who were runners, just like her, and encouraged healthy living. She still has straight A's. If you follow my blog, which you should, you know I have concerns regarding The Daughter's mental health. All the issues I am having are not red flags to mental heath decline. I went on addressing the disrespect and boundaries without addressing any other concerns.

Three, almost four, weeks ago, The Daughter's biological father called me asking to meet regarding an issue he had encountered during his weekend visit with The Daughter. We met and boy was I surprised. She had been drinking (yes, alcohol), smoking pot, and sneaking the boyfriend out of his house. Sneaking the boyfriend out of his house! Can I just resign as mother of the year right now? (I am sure I was going to be nominated for that title.) And the lock-down proceedings began. She could have friends over to the house, but couldn't go anywhere but to school then home. She had friends over EVERY single night. A few teenagers can eat more food than a military unit.

Christmas Eve (technically Christmas morning at 2am), in the middle of the night, The Daughter sneaks out of my house into the boyfriend's VW bus. I love my neighbors! One neighbor came out in his underwear and a huge flashlight questioning what was going on. A different neighbor saw her leave and texted my phone. By the time we heard what happened, she was already gone. I text her. I text her again. Finally get a text stating she is having mental health issues and needed her friends. I didn't have an address to go pick her up. After a bunch of chaos, I get a call stating she is so drunk and cannot walk and needs to be picked up. I sent her biological father to get her since I didn't need my boys seeing her drunk. We had Christmas without her.

Christmas night, 15 hours after her last drink, she blows a 0.02. (She could have died.) We admit her into a mental health and substance abuse facility. On Christmas. I was still reeling from my parents not being around any more and now I have to commit my daughter. Worst Christmas ever. The Daughter gets an additional diagnosis to add to her mental health diagnoses, she is an alcohol addict. What? How could she be an addict? I was informed she was having the symptoms of an addict. Did I mention she is 16 years old?

The day after Christmas, I get a call from CPS. The Daughter revealed sexual abuse from a family member who does not live in our state. So not only did I get to talk to Idaho CPS, but CPS from a different state. I am glad she reported the abuse. I am glad she is able to get help. I am not glad she waited  YEARS to report it.

Her biological father met with all the friends and their parents. Everyone is in big trouble. Everything is out in the open. The police has been called and the SRO at the high school is informed. I know if they are going to drink or do drugs, it is going to happen, but hopefully it is harder to do.

The Daughter spent a week in the facility. She is not happy about the restrictions she is under now that she is out. Too bad. She needs to understand she is hurting herself and others around her. She isn't willing to change for herself, but she stated she will change for her brothers. I will take what I can get at this time. She will always struggle with mental health and addiction. The coping skills she is going to need are going to be the only thing that will save her.

I have addicts in my family history, biologically related and not. Addiction is not a family issue I would want anyone to experience. Addiction can destroy, not just the addict, but the surrounding family and friends. I almost lost my one and only daughter on Christmas 2015. We are now working towards healing. I wouldn't have made it through this week without my sister, friends, and My Man. I would have stayed in bed for a week.

Now, can someone take me out for a glass of wine? I cannot have any alcohol in the house for The Daughter's safety and I really need a drink. ;)